Clashes among Family Members

The Prophet of Islam (SAW) says: “The Muslim man after Islam, didn’t achieve any extra advantage over his wife; a wife who when her husband looks upon her feels cheerful, follows her husband’s instructions and in his absence, protects her chastity and her husband’s property.” (“Wasail-ash Shi’a”, vol. 14, p. 23)

The family has always been one of the most valuable spiritual institutions of the society. In the foundation of social life, the family has been the focal point and putting aside the responsibilities related to the giving birth to and rearing of children which results in the continuation and perpetuity of mankind. Other responsibilities for example, the Kid's Health and endorsing of societal awareness of an individual are also included. Family is an elite system which gives the individual a sense of belonging and being. This family system belongs to that group of systems, which have remained existent throughout history, and there are two main reasons for this:

1) The family environment secures the basic needs of a society and shoulders the responsibility of making individuals socially aware

2) The family is a strong and influential center, which brings about the feeling of closeness and emotional support in individuals. The family is also a medium, which plays an important role in the transfer of values, customs, and cultural heritage of the society.

Family Disputes:

Family disorders have many aspects, which may eventually lead to separation or divorce. One of the basic reasons for divorce is unwarranted expectations, which the two parties have of one another. These expectations are related to the status of the two parties (i.e. husband and wife) in the society, sexual relations, whether one or both of the spouse are renown, physical health, financial security and the role that both the man and woman plays in the marriage.

At the same time, it should be mentioned here that the above expectations may be very influential in the strengthening of the family foundation. For example, in the present society, it can be seen that before marriage the couple believes that as long as their love for one another doesn’t decrease, nothing can break the bond that exists between them. But after the marriage, they quickly come to the realization that the love and interest that was abundant in their marriage, has lost some of its color, or disappeared completely and in order to solve their family problems, they are forced to use more practical methods.

In the same way, children whose parents are not happy in their marriages but remain living together, become affected by the family disputes, which are a result of the relationship of the parents.

How to Prevent Family Disorders

In order to prevent family disorders and undesirable life occurrences, young married men and women need to keep certain points in mind and practice them in their lives; as below:

1) One of the basic points for successful family life is self-knowledge. Every man and woman has certain capabilities and limitations, which they need to discover within themselves. The husband and wife, who are clearly aware of their good and bad points and the reality of their personalities, will have fewer disputes in their family lives. Then it is necessary that the husband and wife accept one another and love one another with all his/her faults and finer points.

2) The husband and wife should respect one another and should not do anything to cause disrespect or hate in the other party. Married couples should hold themselves and their spouse in high regard and should be aware that if they want or like their spouse to be or act according to their own opinions, it is only going to be a waste of time and effort. People are all different. Married couples should accept one another as they are, and not try to compare one another to others, because this only causes psychological injury to themselves.

3) Married couples should try in their domestic lives to foster their talents. Couples can become acquainted with their particular talents in various fields, for example, sports, physical expertise, interest in study, and other fields. The more that couples study and read about different topics, on a daily basis, the more valuable their lives will become.

4) Couples need to form close relationships with others. The reason for many family disputes lies in separation and seclusion from others. A husband and wife, who like others are part of the society, need the support, calm and assurance that come from others - (e.g., family members, friends, neighbors, etc.). For this reason it is necessary to have close, active affectionate and at the same time healthy and well-rooted relationships with others in order to prevent family disputes.