Why Kids Cheat?

The Mothers' Guide

When you find out your child has cheated, you need to immediately begin to figure out why she did it. Here are some possibilities:

1. She doesn't understand it's wrong. Some kids cheat simply because they really don't understand why it's such a bad thing. They studied their spelling words and just can't remember how to spell one of them, so they take a quick peek at their neighbor's work. What's the harm? they wonder.

2. He taking the easy way out. The child knows he has a test tomorrow, but the TV is on one situation comedy after the other. The evening slips away, then the child thinks, "Oh well, I didn't really study, but I'll probably do okay anyway. " Once the test gets under way, it's harder than the child thought. He can't resist the temptation to copy his neighbor's multiple-choice answers.

3. She doesn't know how to study. Many children simply haven't acquired enough academic discipline to know how to really study and prepare for a test, so they cheat not realizing that by cheating they find themselves in a negative downward spiral; the more they cheat the more they may need to cheat, because in subjects like math, where one skill builds on another, they just get more and more behind.

4. The work is too difficult. For some kids, the academic concept they're trying to learn is simply too difficult for them. It seems all the other kids grasp the information easily, and the child becomes too embarrassed to ask for help so resorts to cheating.

5. There's pressure to achieve from parents. Parents of kids who get the message that performance and ability are more important than improvement and mastery need to ask themselves, " Am I expecting so much from my child that she may turn to cheating?" If parents fear this might be the case, they need to backtrack and explain about the importance of doing good work without misrepresenting one's abilities by cheating.

6. There's pressure to perform for teachers. Some children today may feel pressure to perform beyond their ability in order to reflect well on the teacher and school and so may even cheat on standardized tests. When teachers feel pressured to get their students to demonstrate what they're teaching, children may lose confidence to simply do the job they can and sneak a peek at the answers of a neighbor who they believe is smarter, defeating the purpose of learning and the educational process.

7. Reprimand your child. Try saying, "I don't like it. I understand the temptation to copy your friend's work, but we've discussed the importance of honesty and doing your own work in school. I'm disappointed in what you've done. I don't cheat in my life, and I don't expect you to cheat, either."

8. Help her make up for what she did. If she has been cheating by daily copying math homework, help her make up for it by overseeing her as she completes those assignments she copied. Realize she may need help from you or a tutor in order to get caught up. If she cheated on a test, see if the teacher will give it to her again after she's had time to adequately prepare.

9. Don't withdraw privileges. This probably won't accomplish anything. It's better to try and understand why she cheated. Was she just taking the easy way out, or is the work too difficult? Maybe she isn't understanding the concepts that all the other kids seem to grasp easily. Is she under a lot of pressure to achieve?

10. Tell your child you're on his side. If your child habitually cheating to succeed, shaming your child, conveying that what he's done is catastrophic and unforgivable, only works against the goal of being forthright and honest with regards to academic achievement. Instead explain to him, "Your repeated tendency to cheat in school is a problem. It must be remedied. You and I will face this problem together. It's better to take easier courses in school than to engage in a life of cheating to survive."

Tips for Child-rearing

By Ibrahim Bowers

As Muslim parents, we have an obligation to bring up our children in the best manner---to teach them right from wrong and to show them what we and society expect from them. The following principles should be useful in establishing a child-rearing method that is not too extreme:

1. Start Early-Although many parents believe that very small children are too young to understand, their early years are probably the most important opportunity for parents to start them in the right direction. Once good patterns are established, they will be easy to maintain. Once bad patterns are established, they will be difficult to change.

2. Have your Emotions Under Control while Instructing Children- Don't discipline your child because you are angry with him, but rather because you want to teach him. Motive is important here.

3. Parents should Present a United Front- Parents should discuss their strategy for Kid's Health and disciplining their children and agree to work together as a team. If children realize that one parent is strict and the other is easy, they will play the parents against each other. When the strict parent stops them from doing something, they will go ask the easy parent for permission. Both parents need to tell the child the same thing. If parents sometimes disagree on how to discipline the child, they should discuss it privately, not in front of the children.

4. Be Consistent- Most experts on children agree that parents should be consistent. Constantly changing the rules and expectations will only confuse your child. If you stop him from writing on the walls today, and allow him to write on the walls tomorrow, he will not understand when you get angry the next time he writes on the walls. If you inconsistently apply the rules, he will also test you at times to see whether you are going to be tough this time or easy. If, however, he knows from experience that you always stop him the first time, he will quickly learn it does no good to try to get away with something.

5. Never Lie to your Children- If you lie to them "every now and then," they may not believe you when you tell them the truth. This also applies to those situations when you tell your child to stop doing something, or you will put him in his room, or take away his toys. If you make that kind of a threat, you must stick with it. Otherwise, you have lied, and your child will not know when you are serious and when you are not. He will then be forced to test you again and again to see.

6. Don't Reward Crying-If children realize that every time they cry, they get what they want, crying will become like money for them. Every time they want something, they will cry. On the other hand, if you teach them that crying doesn't get them anything, they will stop crying for things. Let them cry and cry and cry, but don't give in. In the beginning, it will be difficult, but be patient. Once they learn the lesson and stop crying for everything, you will be happy that you were firm. You can either listen to crying for a few days or for the rest of your life. It's your choice.

Getting Your Kids Interested in Reading

What does it take for parents to get a teen to become a practicing Muslim?

1.Looking for ideas on getting your kids interested in reading? Then make it a family activity. Here are some ideas:

2.Incorporate books into standard family games. For example, play charades with book titles.

3.Have family outings to the library and have every family member check out one book.

4.Start a family reading night in your family where you can read and discuss a book together.

5.Kids love performing plays and drama skits for the family -- why not incorporate that into their book reading? Have them read a book, choose their favorite scene, and then recreate it for the family.

6.Simply read to your children. You will both benefit from the time spent together. And your children will benefit from stretching their imagination and learning new things.

Getting Your Kids Interested In Reading Is Easy...But It Takes Time!

All parents (at least most of them) want to see their children take an early interest in reading. Reading can not only help your youngster in their education, but can also show them many different worlds and help trigger their own imagination. Like anything else, the love of reading is a behavior that is learned. The parents are the key to building the foundation early.

Personally, I loved reading as a child. I was reading children's books at the age of three. Now that I have a child of my own, it is important to me that he learns to love books as much as I did. So we started reading to him when he was just weeks old. As we would rock him in his chair we would read him a book about animals, showing him the pictures as we went along. At the time, I had no idea if he was really comprehending what I was trying to teach him. Once he began to go to Sunday School, I was delighted to have his teacher tell me that he loved books!

Parents, the example above shows me that your child can learn that reading is fun. Now my son is too, and he tries to "read" his own books often. I read to him every night before he goes to bed, and my wife reads to him several times throughout the day. To me, taking the time to read books to my little boy is an extension of showing him how much I love him. As a result, he looks forward to our reading time together, and loves his collection of books.

For older children, it is harder to get them interested in reading. A suggestion is to find some books on subjects that interest them. You can start with sports books if your child prefers playing baseball to reading, for example. Another tip is to spend some time reading on your own. Your children watch you, and learn from you. If they see their parents spending some time reading, they will in turn look at reading as a good activity for themselves.

As a child, one of the fun things we did during the summer was take a weekly trip to the local public library. My mother let us spend some time picking out books to check out, and then would help us read them if we needed it. Visiting the library will give you youngster exposure to literally thousands of various types of books, showing them that they can read about almost anything. This is a good way to save money as well. Financial constraints should never be a reason not to get your children books to read. Our public libraries are in place partly for that reason.

I am sure that other parents out there have great ideas that they have used to get their children interested in the world of reading. Take the time to look at these ideas. More importantly, spend time with your kids and with some good books. Showing your child the world of reading is a gift that they will appreciate for a lifetime.