Confession of a Kid

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.
Little Bobby stamped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
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Letter 1

Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.
**************
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
**************
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
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Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.

He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.
**************
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!
**************

Sardar

Sardarjee to Sunita: I want to marry you
Sunita: But I am one year elder to you.
Sardarjee: No Problem, then I will marry you next year.

============================== ===========

Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .

============================== ===========

SARDAR- yaar maineapni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya dun ?
2ND- Gold ring de de
1ST- koi badi cheez bata
2ND - M.R.F ka tyre de de. .

============================== ============

1 SARDAR PURI LIFE ONLY 1 THING SOCHTE SOCHTE MAR GAYA
KI MERE TO 2 BROTHERS HAI
PHIR MERI SISTER KE 3 BROTHERS KAISE

============================== ============


SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA.
BOY: OH! PAAJI GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO
SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI MERI TO SISTER HAI.

===============================


1ST SARDAR : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
andone is blue with red spots!

2ND SARDAR: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.

============================== ==========


SARDAR AAJ MAINEPAANI KO ULLU BANAYA
2ND SARDAR: wo kaise?
1ST SARDAR: aaj maine nahane k liye paani garm kiya aur thande se nahaliya.

Mistake

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style...

If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an accident...

If a doctor makes a mistake,
It's an operation...

If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture...

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation...

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law...

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention...

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion...

If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a new theory...

If our boss makes a mistake,
It is our mistake......

If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "MISTAKE"

This is Reality

Good Ones

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her
that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell -a-Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their
friends.


5. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE
himbecause he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


6. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing inyour
life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

7. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.


8. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free youfrom
Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - PleasePAY the
ELECTRICITY BILL.


9. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

The Truth

This is a conversation that took place between a hostel boy ( Y ) and a Marketing guy ( X ) :

X: Which shaving cream do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which socks do you use?

Y: Baba's

X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company???

Y: No, He is my roommate

Is Computer Male or FeMale

A French teacher was explaining to her college class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. House is feminine "la maison." Pencil is masculine "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is computer ?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:
1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2.. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3.. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and
4.. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer) because:
1.. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2.. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3.. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4.. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model

Happy Wedding Anniversary!!!

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

*********

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!

*********

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

*********

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

*********

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women

and then he turns them into Wives

*********

If u r married please ignore this msg,

for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

*********

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say.

After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

*********

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage

*********

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

*********

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

*********

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru
hell.

*********

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

*********

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Just for fun....EnJoy!!

Funny pupil replies to teachers

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
LENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Guss, why do you always get so dirty?
GUSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

A Joke

This is crime story. Five friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station???
Police: Yes, what is the matter??
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke...